Maserati Bora

During the 1970s, cars were badly built, unreliable, impractical and slow. And this is not a downside: its a distinguishing characteristic of the period!
A certain genre (if you can call it a genre) could be labeled as 'Italian Exotica'. Cars of this genre generally had classic 70s wedge body shapes, muddled dashboards, bumpers which defied US traffic safety laws, vacuum powered pop-up headlamps which took ages to pop-up, hopelessly unreliable mid-mounted engines (in a low-capacity high-stress configuration) and electrical systems that never worked at any point during the cars life. They were also built in strictly limited numbers. The high price tag when new, coupled with the lack of rust proofing (which generally meant cars disintegrated after just five years life; Alfa Romeos were good at doing this) meant that there are few of these 'Italian Exotica' cars left today. Only 564 Maserati Boras were ever made, meaning that the chances of owning one today are quite slim.

This is a huge shame in my view. Cars like the Maserati Bora are in a class of their own. They aren't supercars, but they aren't hypercars either. They fit somewhere in between. This may, and probably will sound weird. Think of an orange. Full of Vitamin C for the immune system and a fresh, tart flavour that tingles the tastebuds. This is a supercar. Now think of a lemon. This is like an orange with all dials turned up to the max. More Vitamin C, a powerful hard to handle sour flavour that burns the tastebuds. This is a hypercar. Now think of a lime. Still a citrus fruit, but very different in flavour and the feeling on the tastebuds. This little analogy (hopefully) has explained the 'Exotica' genre.

The Maserati Bora is (in my view) the best representation of the 'Exotica' genre. It was Italian. It was mid-engined. It had a hopelessly unreliable 5 litre V8. It was beautiful. It was shaped like an aircraft wing. It featured slow pop-up lights. It had a dashboard that only the manufacturers could understand. It also featured a beautiful brushed stainless-steel roof, which was there purely for extra style and finesse. All of these things culminated in one of the most beautiful exotic cars of all time.

There are a few sad things about the Bora though. As mentioned earlier, the car lacked proper low speed crash protection, or 'bumpers' for short. The Bora passed all low speed crash regulations in all countries apart from the US, which was a huge market for all European car makers. Rather than risk losing huge profits by not selling the Bora in the US, Maserati fitted US bound cars with very ugly and unflattering black rubber spongey blobs on the front grille, and a hugely ugly black rubber bumper thing on the rear end of the car. This piece of ruinous legislation (which was really to reduce insurance claims from low speed accidents rather than passenger safety) meant that many stylish and elegant European cars were treated to ungainly and awkward black rubber bumpers which ruined the style and elegance which made the car attractive to the US market in the first place!

Thankfully, less than half of all Boras made were fitted with these ghastly additions, as few went to the US. Sadly, like an antique, few bought them when they were new and cheap, but this rarity has led to the value of mint condition Boras soar in the past few years. I saw one for sale in the US for NZ$200,000. Bear in mind that even a mint condition Bora will still be hard to drive, expensive to service and maintain, hugely costly to insure and finding parts when something drops off is damn-near impossible. And yet, I believe this is a blessing. Any normal person will heed these risks and only drive the Bora on special occasions. They will look after it with utmost care and attention. They will drive it with the utmost care and attention. In return, the car will make the driver feel special.

Because thats what Italian Exotic cars do. They make their drivers feel on top of the world.      

Alpine-Renault A-310

Why is it that when a product stands out from the crowd, it usually ends up with hardly any buyers, a company in severe debt and a tarnished reputation when something goes wrong. Think of the Concorde- the world's first and probably last supersonic airliner. It had hardly any passengers (despite being able to cross the Atlantic in three hours) hardly any airlines bought it and when ONE, yes only one crashed, the whole project was slowly dissolved into the pages of history.
Not only was Concorde fast and ground-breaking, it was different. It looked beautiful when standing on the tarmac next to boring, fat old 747s. It was more of a living thing, according to pilots, than an Airbus: which is more like a tool with no soul. And yet, it still died a horrible death: It ended up in a museum when it was more technologically advanced than the planes that took the museum goers to see it, standing on the museum floor with its engines never to breathe another molecule of air again.

Another product that was ground breaking was the Citroen SM. Not only did it look extremely stylish and aerodynamic, it was fast and it had the best suspension system ever invented: Hydro-pneumatic. A hugely costly system (which is why few cars these days use it) it enabled a comfortable ride at low speeds, but a firm and rewarding feel with minimal body-roll through corners at higher speeds.
It also had a 2.7 litre Maserati V6 engine, sending power to the front wheels. This last fact, coupled with the strange interior with unfathomable dashboard dials, and a high price when new, meant that the SM found few buyers.
This also makes me sad. Why, when Citroen went to all that effort to be different, was no one interested? This clearly indicates a level of ignorance among most car buyers: everyone chooses price first. This is obviously a huge part of buying a car, but it should be second or third on the priority list. When most people look for cars on eBay or Trade Me, they set a price bracket then check what type of car it is. I browse cars the other way round.

So what about the whole point of this post? The Alpine Renault A310. This was a weird car. No doubt about that first fact. It was based on a race-winning, rear-engined car called the Alpine A-110. This was a car built by  French company, Alpine (being French it was pronounced "Alpeene")
This car was built in the early '60s, and die out in the early 70s, but in the late 70s, the brand was bought by Renault, and they resurrected the brand and began churning out new versions of the original A-110. Called the A-310, it was absolutely brilliant. It was still as rear engined as the original, and Renault had focused it more toward the GT, luxury supercar end of the car spectrum, as opposed to the bare-no holds racer on which it was based.

So why do I like the A-310 so much? It was hugely different to all the other supercars being designed at the time, which were all mid-engined wedge shaped boxes, (step forward Lamborghini Countach and every Lotus built in the 70s) It was also deceiving. It had huge flared wheel arches and a very smooth aerodynamic profile (which earned it the title of having the lowest drag co-efficient of only 0.26) this meant that passers-by saw you driving along and believed you were in some exotic Italian supercar, costing far more than what you paid. The rear engine gave the Alpine unique handling. Massive amounts of fun oversteer thanks to the rear engine, rear drive layout but tamable and rather safe thanks to the excellent suspension and chassis setup.

Sadly, like the Citroen SM, it was a revolutionary car that no one was interested in, despite the valuable racing pedigree. It had a weird name that no one (except the French, who bought most of them) wanted to pronounce. It was also expensive for what it was ( the engine was the same 2.7 litre V6 once used in the Renault Espace people-carrier) and this engine didn't produce much power. The positioning of this engine also meant practicality was sort of non existent. In the 80s, a new Alpine A-610 was born, this time with a turbocharged 3 litre V6 and a new, perhaps even better looking body shape. This also found few buyers.

Like Concorde and the Citroen SM, the Alpine-Renault A-310 was a shot at being different that was instantly shot down by the masses. It was a shot at the weird and wonderful that many didn't care about.
This makes it rare, exclusive, and above all- different.

      

Volvo S60 R-Design

Here it is. My first blog post on the updated blog. We start with a topic brought up by a follower. Car safety: Is there a point where a car has too much in the way of safety features? This is actually a very interesting topic, simply because of the nature of the topic. People who have never experienced a car accident and people who know others who have died in car accidents are likely to have very differing views on the subject.

I believe that car safety is much like clothes. Yes, this sounds strange (who walks around wearing an airbag for instance?) But think of it this way. If you wanted to go into the Arctic on a expedition, you would need some sort of warm clothing. Arctic gear is not cheap, but you could simply duct-tape seven goose down pillows around your body and you would be warm; in the same way as if you fitted your car with an airbag which deployed covering your entire body in a crash, you would be safe in a crash. Sadly, these two solutions come at a price. How do you plan to move around with seven pillows strapped to your body? Where are all the other dashboard components going to go when there are 15 airbags ready to explode at the slightest provocation? And what about style? I doubt that the next fashion craze includes having pillows taped to your body, and I doubt that 15 airbag holders fit into a neat, stylish dashboard very well. I believe that the key to car safety is balance and ingenuity. Many car manufacturers do this, but only Volvo has managed it for the longest.

The new S60 R-Design is probably the best of all the 'safest' cars out there. I believe that it combines style, elegance, sportiness and driver enjoyment AND the maximum amount of safety for the driver and passengers in one excellent well priced bundle. For a start, its Swedish, which is pretty much a by-word for safety in the world of cars (they were the first to fit their cars with seat belts and safety cells for a kick-off) Secondly, the S60 R-Design is really just a normal S60 with a much more highly developed driver-experience. All of the things which keen drivers look for in a car have been improved, such as the suspension, the bushings and the steering. You can even specify a turbocharged 5 cylinder engine which develops 304 horsepower and sounds like a V10 engine.

So what about safety. Well this is where the S60 wins. The main focus on car safety these days is about crash prevention, and this is an area where the S60 shines. I don't think I've ever seen brakes as advanced as the S60's. The on board computer can detect an accident and pre charge the brake servo to full power, so that when the brakes are applied, all of the braking force is applied. The stability control can detect a potential spin and automatically prevent it, but at the same time not interrupt the feel of the drive and the steering. The S60 can also 'see' pedestrians, and automatically apply the brakes even if the brake pedal is ignored, to spare another life in the city.

The best thing about the S60 R-Design, is that all of the safety features are behind the scenes, so that you don't notice them, and they don't hinder the driving experience like other car's safety features. They just do their job very well, without you noticing. The S60 R-Design is the best car for the driver who wants to be sporty, but not scared that they'll slide into a car coming the other way. If you want to use a clotting analogy, think of the S60 as an Icebreaker Merino top. It keeps you warm and dry in the coldest of weather. But not so as you'd notice you were wearing a big Arctic jumper. (Or have seven pillows strapped to you for that matter)

Hyundai i45

The rip-off

The Bargain

It seems we are having a Korean cars festival on WTPMTR. First Ssanyong's prehistoric technology, Kia's only good car, and now Hyundai, with just about the worst priced car in the entire world. 

Value for money. It's what defines a bargain. You get something for much less than you thought. Korean cars are generally about value for money (though that is stretching the definition of "value") and when you buy a Korean car which has been manufactured by emotionless robots to make money, as opposed to lovingly crafted by skilled people to realise a dream, you don't want to part with too much of your hard earned cash. 

At the other end of the scale, is the rip-off. When you get pretty much nothing for an outrageous price. Bottled water, printer cartridges and other expendables are right in this category. And so are many cars. Including today's automotive abomination. The ludicrously overpriced Hyundai i45 2.4L "Elite".

This cement salesman's runabout is priced at NZ$53,000! Yes, your eyes are working correctly (if not, please adjust your monitor) This car is slow, ugly, has a stupidly small engine, and that worthless Hyundai badge, yet Hyundai think its funny to give this godawful donk a near NZ$55,000 price tag. I was scouring their website to try and find anything that would justify the price, and there was nothing. In fact, it even listed three point seat-belts as one of the safety features. 

The number of alternative drives is so large, the i45 is at the bottom of the list. Take the excellent Ford Mondeo XR5 Turbo. This has a 2.5L 5 cylinder engine with turbocharging making it way ahead of the Hyundai, even before I mention that fact that it has styling you may actually want to look at, and that its made in Belgium, meaning it won't fall apart. There's no contest; especially when its NZ$7,000 cheaper.
If you don't need a new car, you could settle for a 2 year old BMW 330i, for around NZ$35,000. This has a 3L straight six engine, and a BMW badge, making even an old car worse than the brand new Hyundai.

In order to justify the stupid price tag, Hyundai can only do one thing. Place a 5.2L V10 engine under the bonnet, and put it on sale. Without changing the price. 

Kia Cerato Koup

As I outlined in my previous post about the horrid Ssanyong Rexton, Korean cars are generally low on power, ugly in looks, and surprisingly low tech considering the century that we are now in. They also suffer from one of the most pitiful features a car can have. Deathly dullness. Apart from Ssanyong's comical ads and ridicoulous styling, most other Korean car manufacturers tend to churn out cars with less passion and flair than a bare white wall. I saw a Hyundai Sonata drive by the other day, and even though it ran a red light (normally a rather exiting road event) I was overcome with the urge to fall asleep. 

The worst thing about Hyundai, is not the dreary crud that comes into the country, but it's the blatently untruthful and downright laughable advertising that gets drilled into the New Zealand people every day on the TV and on massive billboard across the country. A billboard near Wellington airport (which Hyundai sadly owns, meaning it will always be draped in crappy slogans and ugly cars) was showing a huge quote from a National Business Review "executive" The quote read-"By 2013 Hyundai will be NZ's number one brand" 
This quote is not only a white lie, but an expensive one for Hyundai. You can just hear the wad of $100 bills falling neatly into the executive's account.

But despite the dreary cars and pointless advertising, Korea (or more specifically, Kia) recently designed the first ever Korean car that you may actually want to part with cash for. The Kia Cerato on which it's based, is actually not bad looking. I do not however recommend purchasing a standard Cerato, as people will still know that you are driving a Kia. But the Koup is a work of art.

The front of the standard Cerato is very well proportioned. The grille and the headlights all fit together in one neat package. But the looks are sadly weighed down by the upright sedan body. Rather like a supermodel having to model clothes whilst constanly wearing a bulletproof suit. But lose the sedan body and replace it with a fastback, two door body and the results are fantastic. The square and rigid looking doors on the sedan are replaced with two sleek pillar-less doors, which neatly round off the flowing body and forward design.

For a decent Cerato Koup with all of the available features (which is how I would buy a car) the value for money is immense. The top spec model only costs around NZ$33,000. Sadly, the only available engine for the Koup is a 2.0 litre four pot, which really doesn't do justice to the well designed body. But if you are prepared to sacrifice power for looks and value for money, the Cerato Koup is for you. Let's hope Kia puts a V6 in it! 

Ssanyong Rexton

When one decides to buy a new consumer good, be it a computer, a
table, book, anything; one usually expects to take some features of
that good for granted. for example: when you buy a table, it is highly
unlikely that in the advert for it, the retailer is boasting about how
it comes with legs as standard. Or in the case of a book, how it comes
with "pages made of paper"

But I was reading through my local newspaper, and I saw an ad for two
Ssanyong cars. They actually called them offroaders, but even my
mother doubted that they could even attempt to drive over something as
troublesome as a crack in the road. In the ad for their Actyon ute,
they listed the usual features such as air-con and the supposedly
powerful diesel engine, (which was the world's first attempt at
calling an engine which produced less than 200 kW "powerful")
As I read down the list, however, my trust for the car (which was
already pretty thin) vanished completely. The ad boasted that the car
had four wheel disc brakes. Now, I don't know what the brake
technology is in Korea, but judging by the ad, it's clearly very old.
No car manufacturer since around the 1980s has ever boasted about their automotive
creation having such a commonplace feature.
And if you think it couldn't get any worse, you are sadly wrong. I
scanned my eyes across the page and saw the lost of features for their
Rexton model. This car was advertised as having three point seatbelts!
I haven't seen any car ad in my entire life with three point seatbelts
advertised as a feature. This shows Korea's level of automotive
crappyness as being off the charts. In other words, avoid any car from
Ssanyong at all costs. You may find that a feature on one of their
crappier models is doors and a roof.

BMW M6

It's quite common for graphic designers to borrow ideas, shapes or lines from nature. It's also common for inventors to do the same thing. It's clear that the shape of the humble wing fitted to every plane ever made, was taken from the wing of every bird ever born. The same goes for the inventor of the articulated or 'bendy' bus. He or she must have seen a snake and, rather than running away in fear, decided to notice that long things that bend in the middle can go round corners a lot more easily than rigid things. 

Sadly, time has a habit of ruining trends or fashions. Designers and inventors decided to use science and maths to base their ideas on, rather than nature. But when the designers at BMW decided to revive the 6 series, they looked at nature. Or, to put it more accurately, decided to visit the shark tank at their local aquarium. They saw that the shark had a very hydrodynamic shape, and that this would help their new car go fast. But no matter how shapely or hydrodynamic the car is, it isn't going to go fast without power.

The 630ci and the 645ci, with 3 litre and 4.5 litre engines respectively, are not going to set one's trousers on fire, with extreme speed. It's the M6 that does the trouser burning. The Jaws inspired frontal styling on the less sporty models was toned down for the golf club car park. But the M6 has frontal styling turned up for the racetrack. The huge chin spoiler, the flared wheel arches and the trademark BMW double grilles are all from the meat-eating shark. But no shark has ever come with a 5 litre V10 engine under it's leathery hide. 

Even though the V10 is also used in the M5 sedan, the M6 is faster, simply because there is a lot less weight to pull around. But there are a few areas in which the M6 becomes a land beast, as opposed to a fast, underwater carnivore. The styling at the back is more obese duvet, than sleek sea-creature. There are way too many settings for the interior seats and the iDrive computer. There is an insanely complicated gearbox with 11 settings, and there are three power settings for the engine. Why? Can't it be on permanent 507 maximum horsepower mode? There are also 3 settings for the differential, which will mean many trips to the BMW dealer for costly repairs. But apart from these setbacks, the M6 is a true monster. But only when set up correctly.